#trans woman noctis
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Need everybody to know I've been going feral about the idea of trans girl Noctis who just. She didn't know. She didn't fucking know she was trans. She had that delightfully vague dislike of gender roles as a child and growing unhappiness with what cis male fashion was 'supposed' to be but she just thought it was because gender roles ARE dumb and masculine fashion IS pretty plain and she just dove into being a punk guy for the fun of it. Like being the Prince meant she was held to such a high standard and shit that she just thought she was struggling with the pressure of social expectations. Since there wasn't much actual dysphoria to go with it she just shrugged it off
And then sometime later while out on the road away from everyone's expectations she's relaxing and enjoying herself and FINDING herself and then Gladio jokingly calls her Princess like he always does and she just kinda
Oh. OH. OH SHIT. HER WHOLE LIFE MAKES SENSE NOW.
Idk it's just always good to me to see trans realization that isn't "I feel wrong and bad in my body/assigned at birth sex" but instead is "I feel so RIGHT in THIS gender" because for me being trans isn't ABOUT the dysphoria, even when it's awful, it's about how great the EUPHORIA is
#my stuff#my writing#listen#there may or may not be 11k worth of writing for this#princess noctis#ffxv#trans woman noctis#she keeps the same name#noctis lucis caelum#keep an eye out for the fic soon#maybe#it keeps getting longer every time i go to do a quick little editing#this am it was 8k and now it's 11k
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He/him lesbian prompto.......
#listen.......#i ship lesbian prompto with cindy but i dont ship him with her if hes not#cindy is a lesbian (canon) so yk#but i have so many different hcs for prompto#like#trans man prompto i see with noctis or a chocobro polycule#cis man prompto i see with noctis or the chocobros#trans woman prompto i see with noctis or cindy or both (but cindy is not with noctis unless noctis is nb)#transmasc lesbian prompto i see with cindy#he/him lesbian prompto i see with cindy#also iggy is always gay to me (so true so canon) so thats why transfem prompto isnt smthn i see with roadtrip shipping#but like nb noctis........ i like that.... . . . .. . . .... nb lesbian noctis... .. . . . .i LOVE that. ...........#but also chocobro roadtrip polycule is canon king#i have so many thoughts and feelings ok#i am a multishipper. my gender and sexuality headcanons are all over the place#i love p much every queer interpretation ppl make about characters so it's easy to get me on board with ideas#but like lesbian cindy lesbian aranea and homogay iggy are my only strict personal beliefs BUT i love and respect all queer hcs#though honestly i do like the idea of transfem iggy a LOT so i guess the homogay hc is only when iggy isnt transfem#anyway idk why im talling abt this#why is my ffxv hyperfixation coming back
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started 'they'-ing aeron unintentionally
#noctis' pronouns are rubbing off on him. gender neutral pronouns are infectious#(?)#just another step in noctis' plan on transing aeron's gender#/silly also their genders are kinda only like afterthoughts (?) cuz i experiment with them alot#they're just like. dolls to me. my touys who i put in every situation#oc talk#sometimes noctis is intersex and or cis woman. sometimes agender or nb or neither.#most times aeron is a cis man tho sometimes he's trans (either ways). i never considered him nb but now i guess that changes lol 💥
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what's a historical fact or event that you think is super cool and more people should know about and appreciate?
Hello anon! This got briefly lost in my drafts, sorry.
There's so many cool history facts, here you can find the masterlist of my random history fact series (I have not written new posts for this series in a while, but I will get back to them in the future). Some honorable mentions of weird/not talked about historical facts are:
The 1932 emu wars in Australia, in which you guessed it the birds won against the Australian government.
The fact that the Roman emperor Claudius tried to hide when we was about to be crowned because he thought the guards wanted to muder him. This emperor is really interesting because he has always been looked down on. He didn't fit the physical standars of his time and was highly criticized for that, he was old when he got power, but he is also responsable for allowing non-Romans into the senate.
The emperor Hadrian had a major mental/emotional breakdown when his lover Antinoo died. From then on he started dedicating to his lost lover cities, temples, a huge amount of statues, and if I am not wrong he also dedicated a constellation to him.
On the same not of Roman queer history the emperor (or empress) Eliogabalus was trans. She was amab but there's sorces that very clearly state she offered half of the empire to the doctor who could give her a female body.
Jesus wasn't born in the year 0, it's probable he was born around 4 B.C. This is one of the funniest historical fact I know, and very little people know about it. It's all because a monk messed up the calculations. Also the fact that Jesus existed as a human in more or less that time is the only certain thing we know as historans nothing else can be proved because of the lack of certain and unpartial sources.
The iust prime noctis is only one of the many myths we have surrounding the middle ages. It is the right of the landowner to have sex with a woman on the first night of her wedding, if you have seen the movie Braveheart you know what I am talking about. Anyway it's only a myth, and if you think about it it makes sense, do you honestly believe people would not have rebelled against it? The lack of records of such rebellions proves it's only a story.
Witch hunts aren't the highlight of Medieval times. Although there certainly were some witch trials during the middle ages the most violent and the majority of trials were during the Modern era. Violent trials are a thing especially for me late 1400s to the 1600s, although we have trials that go all the way into the 1700s, amd of course there were some during the middle ages.
On the topic of witches (which as you might know is very dear to me) did you know the Italian town of Triora is called the city of witches because of how heavy the trials were in 1587-1589, almost all women of the town were processed as witches.
Not really an historical fact but historical terms that aren't really spoken of are the time periods. They are only a practical tool that helps us difine the past so you have always to keep that in mind, but also we are not living the Modern era, we are living the Contemporary era. The Modern period is usually dated from 1492 (when Columbus found the American continent) to 1815 (when Napoleom was defeated). The Contemporary era starts from 1815 and goes on till today.
I could go on, and I could talk more of some of these topics, these were only the first few things that came to mind!
(Disclamer: I wrote this all thanks to my memory so there could be some details that aren't super precise, but if you find these topics interesting and look more into them you can find lots online)
#sorry it took a whole day to post idk what happened in the process#i might write specific random history facts post on a couple of these but i have not planned yet when i'll get back to it#also thanks for keeping me company anon!#ask#asked#asks#answered#random history fact#random history facts#cris speaks#historyblr#history#history fact#studyblr#mine#the---hermit
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I have found a fic! And it's awesome!
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star by scrawly_times
Fandoms: Final Fantasy XV
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Chapters: 1/1
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum; Gladiolus Amicitia & Prompto Argentum & Noctis Lucis Caelum & Ignis Scientia; Gladiolus Amicitia & Noctis Lucis Caelum; Noctis Lucis Caelum & Ignis Scientia
Characters: Noctis Lucis Caelum; Prompto Argentum; Gladiolus Amicitia; Ignis Scientia; Iris Amicitia
Additional tags: Established Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum; Pre-Polyship Roadtrip; in my heart of hearts; you can read it without ot4 vibes too; Trans Female Character; Princess Noctis; Trans Noctis Lucis Caelum; Trans Woman Noctis Lucis Caelum; Coming Out; trans awakening; Gender Non-Conforming Prompto Argentum; Best Big Brother Gladdy; Internalized Transphobia; Kinda; Gender Identity; Light Angst; Fluff; so many good feelings inside i teared up multiple times writing
Summary
It all starts with a pair of star earrings that Noctis can't quite look away from. Or maybe it started much much earlier, when Luna got to wear pretty dresses and Noctis didn't. Or maybe it was when Gladio started calling Noctis Princess as a joke that didn't really land. Maybe it began with goth clothes and guyliner. It's impossible to pinpoint an exact moment when Noctis's egg began cracking. She just knows that when it actually cracked that fucker split wide open.
A story about how sometimes gender isn't about feeling wrong, but about feeling very right.
#ffxv#fic#fanfiction#fanfic#fic rec#noctis lucis caelum#prompto argentum#gladiolus amicitia#ignis scientia
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by scrawly_times It all starts with a pair of star earrings that Noctis can't quite look away from. Or maybe it started much much earlier, when Luna got to wear pretty dresses and Noctis didn't. Or maybe it was when Gladio started calling Noctis Princess as a joke that didn't really land. Maybe it began with goth clothes and guyliner. It's impossible to pinpoint an exact moment when Noctis's egg began cracking. She just knows that when it actually cracked that fucker split wide open. A story about how sometimes gender isn't about feeling wrong, but about feeling very right. Words: 11084, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 1 of Princess Noctis Fandoms: Final Fantasy XV Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Noctis Lucis Caelum , Prompto Argentum , Gladiolus Amicitia , Ignis Scientia , Iris Amicitia Relationships: Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum , Gladiolus Amicitia & Prompto Argentum & Noctis Lucis Caelum & Ignis Scientia , Gladiolus Amicitia & Noctis Lucis Caelum , Noctis Lucis Caelum & Ignis Scientia Additional Tags: Established Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum , Pre-Polyship Roadtrip , in my heart of hearts , you can read it without ot4 vibes too , Trans Female Character , Princess Noctis , Trans Noctis Lucis Caelum , Trans Woman Noctis Lucis Caelum , Coming Out , trans awakening , Gender Non-Conforming Prompto Argentum , Best Big Brother Gladdy , Internalized Transphobia , Kinda , Gender Identity , Light Angst , Fluff , so many good feelings inside i teared up multiple times writing
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I’ve been kind of thinking on my No Prophecy AU. I might make it a bit more emotional where Noctis is honestly scared to come out as non-binary to most people. Maybe tweak so that they came out by accident to Prompto and Ignis because they had ordered something like a skirt and makeup, shipped it to Prompto’s and put it in the armiger.
Prompto isn’t nosy and didn’t look, but Ignis called Noctis after pulling the package out of the armiger and checking it. They did go to another room, but... thin walls maybe and Prompto still hears the entire call. He hears his best friend sounding scared as they finally confess about how they feel that they don’t feel male or female and want to just figure themself out, how they didn’t intend to come out to anyone and just wanted to be able to figure things out in private and just keep it hidden so they don’t cause their dad any trouble.
Ignis feeling awful and just making Noctis promise in the future to use his address so he can check things over without running the risk of Noctis being outed to anyone else.
Noctis just goes back to collapse on the couch and Prompto lets them know, the walls were thin enough he heard it all and he supports them. The two just spending hours on sites going over pronouns until Noct settles on they/them. Prompto sneakily buying enby flags for Noctis to hang up in their apartment, mainly in places Gladio won’t look.
Gladio finding out when he just walks right into the apartment and catches Noctis standing in the middle of the room, in a skirt. No judgement, he thinks Noct is actually a woman at first like one of the glaives, but they admit that they’re non-binary.
Having that kind of support helps them out a lot and eventually, they get the courage to tell their dad.
Regis 100% supports them and reassures them they never have to hide who they are, they are free to be completely out to the world if they want.
They’d rather start small with who already knows.
Ignis has to approve all outfits Noct gets though, they have no concept of how fashion works. And he eventually convinces them to come out to Crowe, who is trans, so she can help them understand woman’s fashion better.
Just, it starts small, but Noctis slowly getting more and more courage to be open about being Non-Binary seems like it would be a pretty heartwarming path for that AU to take.
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honestly yeah im making this canon 4 my blog: regis + aulea were both trans and thus r trans parents! more hcing under the cut 4 mentions of pregnancy.
regis was a trans man + aulea was a trans woman! when they got married + decided to have a child, regis came off of testosterone & they had noct roughly a year later!! he went back on when noct was around 2 or 3 when they were absolutely sure they didnt want another
everythin was super smooth for them + a very private affair . clarus + cor were MADLY overprotective of regis and aulea was ecstatic to be a mom like BEYOND thrilled i guaranTEE u she would bet hat kinda mom who doesnt know what to do w/ herself while waiting and spend the entire time either knitting baby clothes or crying. during it she lent her power to regis to help keep the wall up and having that to do as well as attending formal things for him probably ist heonly thing that kept her sane LMAO
regis loved noctis from like the MOMENT he was born ok. they both did. i mean they almost fucking crashed the car jst getting to the hospital they were beyond excited + there was absolutely a huge parade and public announcements and shit bcus they were enamoured, thrilled, overjoyed, and then exhausted for the next 3 years
regis just loves noctis so much though. after aulea died his bond w/ his son rlly just became.. everything to him? to the point that when he found out. yknow. THINGS later he absoutlely gave noctis everything he could ever want. tried to help him live a full life in the short time he had. did everything he could.
okay thank u this was ur daily reminder xv is mine now + nobody can stop me!
#this is a topic im passionate about due to laws in my country about trans parents#u can ask more off anon if ur curiousss#pregnancy -#but if you . use the term m//pre/g around me ill probably block you as a warning lol#< to clarify i mean to specifically refer to this topic#WORLDBUILDING ㅤ ㅤ ( ㅤ ☠ㅤ ) ㅤ ㅤ — ㅤ ㅤ like prometheus: all fire & love punished for the act of living in defianceㅤ .
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okay so my luna will obviously be very canon divergent.
she’s the little sister to stella. she always wanted to be just like her sister, who was groomed to be the oracle. but during the necessary ceremony---stella was not chosen by the gods. luna was. she was outed as trans in the process, and was not and still is not completely accepted as oracle because of it. bc of this she overcompensates in religious ferocity. she has been told she is not a woman, or even a person---just a vehicle for the gods. it has bred a self-hatred in her, and she represses every aspect within herself that does not revolve around the gods, or her duties, or her brother, or her spouse-to-be.
she finds what she considers happiness for the first time as oracle when her betrothed calls her ‘pretty’. she does not know if she is capable of love, but she was designed for devotion. unbeknowst to her, shiva protects her and will one day pass down to her her spirit of rebellion against bahamut---and in ‘gentiana’ / shiva dying to protect luna from ardyn, luna absorbs her powers, and is able to fight alongside noct in the final battle, and the ice in her veins and the fire in noctis’s freezes and burns out any trace of sickness.
this might be stupid and it IS a bit unnecessarily angsty BUT. i want an arc for her where she goes out and devotes herself to her people and to god and finds small pockets of mercy that allow her to love herself. gentiana most ardently, but also her people, her foolish brother, her sister, and @lightlorn ‘s stray...
she has a hard life bc LBR THATS JUST REALISTIC but she overcomes so much and comes out the other side a LEGITERAL goddess in her own right lol.
but on the way there she is a bit of a creeper, just kind of. constantly watching noctis & friends. constantly obsessing over her appearance. obsessed with everything. she mentally ill as hell! leave her alone! lol she HAS TO GO THROUGH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!
#ooc: hc#hc: I SPEAK TO GOD; I LIVE FOR HIM; AND ALONE IN THIS WORLD; I WALK FORWARD ON BROKEN STAINED GLASS HEELS | lunafreya#ch: I SPEAK TO GOD; I LIVE FOR HIM; AND ALONE IN THIS WORLD; I WALK FORWARD ON BROKEN STAINED GLASS HEELS | lunafreya#i have a lot of narratives where everyone is just fine and happy and its no big deal to be trans#but thats not actually my lived experience as a non-binary person and idk lets just mix it up a bit#lets throw some trans trauma in there lol
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hello!! first off i’d like to say i love the way you portray the ffxv characters so much, your writing is lovely!! this is kind of an odd request probably, but could i request the bros + ardyn & a ftm trans reader as their s/o? as a trans guy it’d mean the world to me to finally see an hc like this. it can be any trope you want! i just need the goods lmao. thank you in advance!!
This is it!!!! This is the request I am so excited to have received and have the opportunity to fulfill! Thank you so much, Anon, for allowing me this opportunity! I don’t think your request is strange, at all! I hope I can give you some head cannons that you’ll enjoy!
But what trope should I do? Should it be angst? Should it be fluff? I want this to be good!!! So you know what we’ll go with? Going to your first Pride Celebration with the character! Let’s also assume you’ve been in a happy, healthy relationship with them for awhile.
A few other side notes: Not everyone’s experience with Pride is joyful. If this does not reflect your personal experiences with this wonderful month, I am truly sorry. Please keep in mind that your voice is valid and needs to be heard because more people may have the same experiences you’ve had.
Also, I’m not the most qualified to write this piece: I’m cis. But I’m going to try my best for this request! I really really hope I do it well.
Happy Pride Month!!!🏳🌈
Taglist: @idiotflowerex, @laststory1013, @sayaoqueen, @jophinabean, @mysme-already
If you like what you read, please consider supporting me on Patreon or buying me a Ko-fi!
Noctis
You had wanted to go to a Pride Parade for forever,
But were never sure if you really “fit in”.
You were really unsure if you wanted to go alone.
You brought up the idea to Noct in passing,
And he saw your hesitation.
“What’s wrong? Do you want to go?”
Yes! You wanted to go, to celebrate and be proud of who you are,
But…how do you explain to a PRINCE what it’s like to always feel like an outcast?
Even in your own skin?
Noctis sees your conflict and wants to help you compromise with yourself.
He tells you that you’ll go together and at least check it out.
The day arrives.
You’re so nervous.
Noctis has your hand in his the whole time.
The parades always start with a bang!
You watch as it goes by,
And then you see the first sign.
An old woman is walking next to a young person, carrying a sign that reads:
“Proud Parent of A Trans Child!”
And like a drop of water before the dam bursts,
Her sign is followed by a stream of more!
“Trans Rights Are Human Rights!”
“The T in LGBT Is Not Silent!”
And the biggest trans flag you’ve ever seen!
The blues, pinks, and whites are so beautiful.
Noctis smiles as he watches the colors reflect in your eyes.
He taps you on the shoulder.
You turn around to see your amazing S/O wearing a new shirt that had been covered by his jacket.
It has a trans flag on it and reads “I love my boyfriend!”
You hug him as your emotions run down your cheeks.
As you regain some composure, you take his hand,
Running to the barrier to get a better look at the parade.
Your trans siblings see you and Noct’s shirt and pull the two of you into the parade with them.
Hand in hand, you walk with Noctis,
Surrounded by people who are your siblings,
Fully accepted and proud of who you are!
Prompto
You’ve never been to Pride?!
He really wants to take you!
And wants to go all out for the event!
“You only get to do your first time once!”
You’re hesitant, but he’s having so much fun.
You just ask that he doesn’t go TOO overboard.
You’re sure he’s going to be all dressed up,
But that’s not really you.
So you get a new t shirt with a trans flag on it.
The day arrives and so does your S/O.
Prompto has dyed his hair rainbow and is wearing a shirt tie dyed with the trans colors!
You laugh at the sight as you take his hand and head towards the event.
He’s taking so many pictures!
Pictures of your reactions to everything,
Pictures of everyone at the event,
And best of all, pictures of the two of you together.
Your favorite picture is one of the two of you kissing in front of a trans flag.
The whole day takes your breath away!
Prompto takes you to all of the events, parades, dances, shops, etc.
But you always get out before you feel uncomfortable.
He’s by your side through everything.
Ignis
Finds out that you’ve never been to a Pride event before.
Finds it slightly distressing.
“They truly are special events.”
But wants to respect you and any insecurities you may have.
If you don’t want to be in the middle of all of those people,
He understands.
Don’t worry, he knows someone on the inside.
He got you “special seats” to watch the parade.
Turns out, he knows the parade organizer,
And got you access to a private balcony over the event.
It’s just the two of you.
You watch as the parade passes.
There are so many colors!
And so much happiness!
Sure, you see the normal drag queens,
But you see more trans men than you have ever seen before!
Every shape is celebrated!
You can’t help but whisper to yourself,
“They’re like me…”
Ignis hears you.
He inches closer to you and wraps his hand around your waist.
“You’re not alone…”
His words mean both the crowd below you and him,
Which he stresses by gently kissing your temple.
You smile, turning to kiss him fully.
“Should we go down?” You ask, feeling prepared for the full Pride experience.
“We should! But first…I have one request.”
You give your suave and mischievous S/O a skeptical look.
He smiles back,
“Let’s really kick off this celebration.”
Ignis pulls a small remote from his pocket and hands it to you.
“Go ahead, press the button.”
You do.
There’s a great swish!
You look over the balcony as clamps release, unfurling a giant trans flag.
You gasp, before throwing yourself into Ignis’s arms.
Great cheers erupt from the crowd below.
“I love you,” he whispers into your kiss.
“Thank you.”
Sure, all the other flags are unfurling on balconies around yours,
But this flag and this moment are all yours.
Gladio
Laughs a bit when he finds out you’ve never been to a Pride parade.
“They’re…not for everyone. Trust me, I love them. But if you don’t like noise or people, they may not be for you.”
Why is it not surprising that he’s gone?
But you really want to go,
Some part of you feels like you NEED to go to at least one event.
This is supposed to be your community, right?
The day arrives.
Gladio is completely shirtless the whole day,
But for once, he’s not the only one.
He’s drawing very thirsty looks because of it.
“You can put a shirt on…” you comment at one point.
“Or you could take yours off…” he retorts.
That’s a hard pass.
You bounce between events with your S/O.
He’s always protecting you and has an escape plan.
No one even touches you.
And you have an amazing time.
At the end of the day, there’s a photo shoot for the men in the parade.
Gladio gets invited (of course).
And he pulls you with him.
“At least be on the sidelines for me, please?”
You agree.
You watch him pose when a man smiles at you and says,
“C’mon! Do a couple’s pose!”
You know what? Today has been the best day, yet, so why not?
You get up to pose with Gladio,
And remove your shirt.
For the first time in your forever, you’re proud of your body.
Even the binder/surgery.
The crowd is, too.
There are calls and whistles and cheers.
Gladio leans you over and kisses you.
He finds your body perfect, everyday.
And at least today, you do too.
Ardyn
You mention at one point that that you’ve never been to Pride,
He just smiles.
The two of you wander outside of Niflheim often,
So it doesn’t surprise you when you suddenly leave the Empire.
But it does surprise you when you reach a rainbow colored Insomnia.
“Welcome, my love, to PRIDE!” Ardyn bows at the entrance to colorful festival.
The whole celebration is a guerrilla warfare styled happiness against the gray city.
All love is celebrated as are all bodies.
Ardyn gets you a trans flag to wear about your shoulders,
You find a rainbow fedora for him to wear.
You end up dancing in the streets.
Ardyn is hilarious with you,
Mixing made up moves with VERY old dances.
You end up walking in the parade,
Head held high as you walk shoulder to shoulder with your trans siblings.
Ardyn admires the joy on your face.
But finally, the Terfs come.
Like a missed note on the keyboard,
They ruin a joyous song.
“You’re just a straight girl!” One begins as they see you draped in your flag holding hands with Ardyn.
Your blood is boiling,
It took you long enough to get to where you felt comfortable in your body, and now?!
Now they want to ruin it?!
They want to question every step of your journey?!
What right do they…
Ardyn has decked them.
Straight in the face.
Their nose is bleeding.
You’re stunned along with the rest of the crowd,
Before applause erupts.
The TERF stands up.
“HOW DARE YOU!?”
He turns to you and shrugs.
“I believe it’s your turn, if you want…”
You take barely a moment to think.
BAM!
Their nose is really broken now.
As their hateful mouth is finally silenced, you lean over them.
“So, tell me: Who do I hit like?”
Ardyn laughs as he pulls you close to kiss you.
#ffxv#ftm#trans#nocits x reader#prompto x reader#ignis x reader#gladio x reader#ardyn x reader#noctis#prompto#ignis#gladio#ardyn#pride month#first pride celebration#ffxv hc
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Trans Noctis and her gender nonconforming boyfriend propaganda
#my stuff#ffxv#final fantasy xv#trans woman Noctis#princess Noctis#noctis lucis caelum#prompto argentum#gnc Prompto
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I never finished ff15 so in my head the ending is just Lunafreya marries cindy and trans man Noctis marries trans woman prompto while Iggy and Gladio are their gay uncles
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▌NAME : grell sutcliff ▌AGE : physically 28, real age unknown ▌HEIGHT : 5′9″ ( 6′1″ in heels ) ▌SPECIES : grim reaper ▌GENDER : trans woman ▌RACE/ETHNICITY : white english ▌BIRTHDAY : wouldn’t that be telling ? ▌SUN SIGN : cancer ▌RESIDENCE : whitechapel ▌MARITAL STATUS : single ▌ALIGNMENT : chaotic neutral ▌DRINK : black tea ▌FOOD : beef stroganoff ▌DAY OR NIGHT : night ▌SNACKS : pain au chocolat ▌PET : one samoyed named crème brûlée ▌COLOUR : venetian red #eb000c ▌FLOWER : anemone ▌SEXUALITY : bisexual ▌BODY TYPE : mesomorphic ▌EYE COLOUR : chartreuse phosphorescent ▌HAIR COLOUR : red
tagged by: not @redyearning tagging: @ofribbons @morternal @diabolus-noctis @falsenoble
#me digging up my kn0owledge of flower language skjefgnjsgfhg#crimson kisses and rosy secrets. * headcanons.#also i picked that red for a very specific reason
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My Earthly by his Heav’nly overpowered, Which it had long stood under, strained to the highth In that celestial colloquy sublime, As with an object that excels the sense, Dazzled and spent, sunk down, and sought repair Of sleep, which instantly fell on me, called By nature as in aid, and closed mine eyes. Mine eyes he closed, but open left the cell Of fancy my internal sight, by which Abstract as in a trance methought I saw, Though sleeping, where I lay, and saw the shape Still glorious before whom awake I stood, Who stooping opened my left side, and took From thence a rib, with cordial spirits warm, And life-blood streaming fresh; wide was the wound, But suddenly with flesh filled up and healed: The rib he formed and fashioned with his hands; Under his forming hands a creature grew, Manlike, but different sex, so lovely fair, That what seemed fair in all the world, seemed now Mean, or in her summed up, in her contained And in her looks, which from that time infused Sweetness into my heart, unfelt before, And into all things from her air inspired The spirit of love and amorous delight.
John Milton, Adam on the creation of Eve from Book VIII in Paradise Lost, lines 453-77.
vox quoque per lucos vulgo exaudita silentis/ ingens, et simulacra modis pallentia miris/ visa sub obscurum noctis, pecudesque locutae,/ infandum! sistunt amnes terraeque dehiscunt,/ et maestum inlacrimat templis ebur aeraque sudant, “A voice boomed through the silent groves for all to hear, a deafening voice, and phantoms of unearthly pallor were seen in the falling darkness.“ (Vergil, from Book I in Georgics, trans. H. R. Fairclough, G. P. Goold, line 476); note the juxtaposition between ‘ingens’ and ‘silentis’ and the enjambent of ‘ingens’, cf. ‘mean’ enjambment.
seu mulier toto iactans e corpore amorem, “woman radiating love from her whole body” (Lucretius, from Book IV in De Rerum Natura, trans. W. H. D. Rouse, Martin F. Smith, line 1054)
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💑 What are my muse’s requirements for a potential partner?
sex+romance headcanons!
Pretty simple. Treat him as a person. That’s the biggest turn on for him. It stems from the interactions he had during school. I mean, c’mon, you can’t tell me others didn’t try to approach him when he was a kid. Of course, Noctis would just dodge these interactions and nope away. Because self induced isolation is the best thing now a days my dudes. Another things is to accept the fact that he’s a trans male, and have no troubles with it. Don’t pressure him to get a top surgery, don’t mess with his binder, he might kill you. Don’t ever call him a girl or woman. He will actually stab someone for that. Probably. It’s happened before, and he hates it.
Let him take long naps and cuddle up. Please don’t add any pressure to his back that isn’t needed. Basically, respecting his boundaries is very sexy. Unf. Also, if the person doesn’t mind that Noctis lacks some experience when it comes to have any for of romantic relationship. Because. Well. He’s never had one, and as for sex-- the most he’s gone has been oral sex, and really doesn’t want to ever talk about that experience. It’s embarrassing.
Just a solid relationship, give and take, they support each other and call each other out if one of them is being a little shit. Namely, that would probably be Noctis.
Thanks for tolerating him.
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half a step at a time, a Final Fantasy XV fanfic
Fandom: Final Fantasy XV Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationship: Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Additional Tags: ADHD, Anxiety, Trans Prompto, Non-Binary Noctis
Summary: He has days when he can’t drag himself out of bed. But he has people who will do the dragging for him, metaphorically speaking. He has a job to do, somewhere to be. People to care for, to protect.
It’s not the future he ever imagined. But it’s something.
Short glimpses at how Prompto puzzles out his identity and how to deal with his Weird Brain Shit™, always with his friends at his side.
Notes: Potential trigger warning: Prompto refers to himself with she/her pronouns in a scene where he hasn't figured out yet that he's trans.
Written for the FFXV Kink Meme.
Read under the cut, or at Ao3! (Formatting’s a little off here, so I’d recommend Ao3.)
She has a routine - sort of. (It feels weird, still, even after months of trying to settle into it. But it works, kind of, which is probably the important part.) Her alarm goes off half an hour before she really needs to be up, because it takes about that long to make her brain and limbs work together to get her out of bed. By the time she’s up her second alarm is going off, the one that sounds like someone shaking a bottle of pills. “Yeah, yeah,” she tells it through a yawn, fumbling around on the nightstand for the bottle of water and little weekly pill case that are always there. Ignis calls her on Sunday nights, reminds her to set up the next week’s meds because she’d totally forget otherwise. (Iggy was the first person to ever tell her that there might be a fix for the constant buzz of nervous energy, the way sitting still and quiet at her desk made her want to rip his own skin off. The second person was a very nice woman she later learned was Noct’s personal psychiatrist. That’s another thing she’s still trying to get used to - that when you’re the Crown Prince, you can apparently just loan out your personal private doctors to your friends like it’s no big deal. But feeling like she doesn’t deserve Noct’s kindness is another thing she doesn’t have to feel. Sometimes, on her good days, she really doesn’t.) She takes her meds, the delicate balance that mostly (mostly) keeps the ADHD meds from making her panicky and the panic meds from making her sleepy. Then she drags herself out of bed to get dressed, because she can’t eat breakfast until half an hour after she takes her Ritalin. Or at least, she tries to start getting dressed. Usually she ends up staring blankly at her open closet for a while, overwhelmed by just how many steps it takes to get ready, until the meds kick in and it gets a little easier to focus. There are still a lot of steps, but she can remember them, and tick each one off in order; underwear. Bra. Blouse. Soul-crushing sense of self-loathing. Skirt. Blazer. Tie. Socks. (Her therapist tells her it’s completely normal to have so much anxiety about going to school. That it will get better. Prompto doesn’t know how to tell her that it doesn’t feel like anxiety at all, that nothing else makes her feel as innately wrong as putting on her school uniform, tugging at her blouse until her boobs don’t really show. When everything else is getting so much better, the things that haven’t changed at all feel so much worse.) -- They have a routine for when Prompto stays over at Noct’s place - which is almost all the time, these days. He stops by his own house mostly just to pick up the mail. He thinks he’d probably stay there if his parents were home, but that hasn’t happened since he and Noct started for-realsies dating, so it’s kind of a moot point. Both of their alarms go off at the same time. Noct pulls the blankets over their head and curls up in a little ball, like the alarm’s a threat and they have to protect their vital organs. Prompto shuts his alarm off, and shoves Noct’s phone under the covers with them on his way to the kitchen, laughing at the pitiful little noise they always make. (He never officially moved in, really. It just kind of happened, bit by bit, until suddenly he didn’t have to worry about not having clean clothes to wear in the morning and Iggy was filling two pill boxes on Thursday nights. It’s a weird feeling, walking into the kitchen and seeing his meds sitting next to Noct’s on the counter, like they belong there. Noct keeps telling him they do belong there. Prompto’s not sure he’ll ever be able to believe that, but it’s sweet of Noct to try.) He’s not really any more awake than Noct is, but it’s easier, somehow, to get himself moving when it’s someone else he’s taking care of. Sure, he takes his empty-stomach meds while he’s in the kitchen, but he probably wouldn’t bother if he didn’t have to grab Noct’s meds and a meal-replacement shake out of the fridge. It’s never easy to get going in the mornings, but Noct makes it just a little easier. Noct makes a lot of things just a little easier. Their alarm’s still going off when Prompto comes back to the bedroom, and they’ve wrapped themself up tight in the blankets. The Noct-shaped blanket lump makes a different kind of pitiful noise when Prompto prods what looks like a shoulder, then slowly uncurls, scowling at a point just above Prompto’s shoulder when their face emerges from the cocoon. “Good morning!” Prompto says. “Mmmph,” says Noctis, but they hold out their hand for their meds anyway, so Prompto considers his mission a success. Just like Noct makes it easier for Prompto to get out of bed, Prompto seems to make it easier for Noct to do the same. By the time Noct’s managed to drag themself upright Prompto’s Ritalin is kicking in, so he gets to do the executive functioning for both of them, gently nudging Noct through their morning routine. “Hey,” Noct says, softly, once they’re dressed. They make grabby hands towards Prompto, and, grinning, Prompto interlaces his fingers with theirs, lets them pull him back towards the bed until they’ve both collapsed into a pile of good-morning cuddles. It’s still hard to get things done, sometimes. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, and Iggy or Noct or Gladio have to push him along step by step, because he can only figure out how to do one part of a thing at a time. But he knows how to ask for their help, now, and knows that they’ll give it. He can sit still for longer than three minutes without wanting to crawl out of his skin. He hasn’t had to take his panic attack meds in… he’s stopped keeping track, and he doesn’t quite feel at home in his body but at least he knows why. And he has Noct. “Love you,” he murmurs into Noct’s hair, suddenly utterly overwhelmed by just how true that is, and Noctis laughs, and leans up to kiss him, and whispers “love you too” against his lips. -- Everything kind of goes to hell as soon as they leave Insomnia. Not just the obvious stuff, either. Actually, it’s hard to focus on the obvious stuff. Prompto knows he should feel something about everything that’s happening, but he can’t quite manage to get anywhere near the subject of current events. It’s like there’s a locked door in his brain, him on one side and everything that’s going on on the other, and he’s secretly grateful that he doesn’t have the key, because if he did he’s pretty sure he’d just start crying and never stop. He does more than enough of that as it is. For a week or so he’s absolutely miserable, focus razor-sharp but nothing to focus on except how fast his heart’s beating and the feeling of impending doom that’s almost a physical weight on his shoulders. It’s Iggy who realizes what the problem is - the precarious balance of meds that’s worked for a year now can’t stand up against the situation he’s found himself in, and it’s not like he can just go see his psychiatrist and get them sorted out. (It’s not like his psychiatrist is even still alive. He spends two days with that thought echoing in his head, over and over, like the world’s worst Top 40 earworm.) He can’t see his psychiatrist, but he’s got Iggy, and Iggy has the Internet, and they figure something out, sort of. It’s not a very good “something”, but at least once he stops taking Ritalin Prompto stops feeling like some terrible, indescribable Bad Thing will happen the second he lets his guard down, and Iggy stops looking quite so worried every time he takes Prompto’s pulse. The trade-off is that he’s every bit as jittery either way, and what he gains in peace of mind, or some pathetic facsimile thereof, he loses in forgetting how to accomplish even the most basic tasks. Everything is a struggle, and everything is a distraction. Is this how it used to be? How did he ever function like this? It’s okay, sort of, for a while. Iggy and Gladio talk him through chores, and Noct likes it when he drums his fingers restlessly against their ribs when the two of them cuddle at night - says it feels nice. It’s okay, until they’re facing off against a squad of MT assholes, and Noct yells for a distraction, and Prompto forgets how to move. Camp’s not a fun place to be that night. They eat in tense silence, and then he hides in the tent with Noct while Gladio and Iggy argue. He tries to make out what they’re saying for a while, but then he catches Gladio saying something about how “he’s a liability, Ignis!” and his breath catches in his chest. He cries himself to sleep that night, sprawled on top of his sleeping bag with Noct curled, catlike, against his side, protecting the guy who’s supposed to protect them. He starts taking the Ritalin again after that. Ignis doesn’t say a word. -- And then… then there’s the Dark. There’s the day his meds run out, and there’s nowhere to get more. There’s the day his period kicks back in and, aggravated by the shift in hormones or maybe just to spite him, lasts for three fucking weeks. There’s all the days where he can’t even figure out the steps to getting out of bed, so he just stays there, staring at the wall, snippets of self-loathing on endless repeat in his head. But there’s also the day Gladio sits down with him and reminds him how to breathe, walking him through the steps his therapist taught him what feels like an eternity ago. The day Ignis helps him put together a schedule, every hour of every day planned out in advance, so he always has something to nudge him in the right direction. He picks up running again, burning off nervous energy instead of body fat. Finds a place in a group of Hunters who don’t mind breaking things down into tiny steps for him if it means having his guns on their side. Learns to take deep breaths and focus on the present when sheer terror threatens to overwhelm him. Days turn to weeks, months, years. He adapts, just like everyone else. Struggles, often, but everyone else is struggling too, and that’s a strange sort of comfort. He still has days when he can’t drag himself out of bed. But he has people who will do the dragging for him, metaphorically speaking. He has a job to do, somewhere to be. People to care for, to protect. It’s not the future he ever imagined, curled up in bed with Noct, giggling over daydreams of being Prince Consort. But it’s something. He adapts. He survives. And though he can’t keep himself from crying with the first blinding light of a sunrise he thought he’d never see, they’re bittersweet tears, shed in mourning and gratitude both.
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